it's been a while

i know that it has been a while since i have blogged but i have been so damn busy.

hayden has been back and forth to the docotors so many times this month that i have lost count of how many times he has been.

they have done blood tests and poop samples to see if they can find out why he has been sick for so long,

to have them all come back negitive.

so as of right now everything is alright,

his eatting habits have gone to normal, if you can call it that.

he is eatting everything in sight it is crazy. it seems like all he does is eat now.

the past couple of days it seems like he is eatting enough for like 3 kids instead of just 1.

but i have to admit i am happy that everything came back normal. i was kinda afraid that there was something really wrong.

he was so funny today, i let him out of the play pen and he walked right into the kitchen and went into one of the draws under the counter and grabbed granola bar and handed it right to me.

it's like he knows what he can take and what he can't, he's so smart.

he amazes me everyday with everything that he does, and some of the things that he does make me wonder where he learned them from.

they are the kind of things that make you cock your head to the side and say "what the hell are you doing" type of thing.

he is deffenitly a comedian. he has me laughing all the time. he is just too funny.

you know i look at him during the day or i just sit there and watching sleeping at night and i am so thankful to have him in my life. he really truly is a blessing all in his own, and i thank god everyday that i have him.

hmmmmm

ok so this is all new to me.....but here it goes.

So a little bit about me. I am a single/first time mommy. and i couldn't imagine my life without my son. i am the youngest out of 4 girls. and i have a big family. i have a nephew and 4 nieces. all ranging between 23-12. my family is kinda spread out around the us. my oldest sister-her husband and two daughters (including my nephew) are in maine. and then my second to the oldest sister -her twin daughters and my twin sister live in missouri. and then me,my mom and my son all live in massachusetts.

i am a pretty happy person. and i am kinda easy going, i am easy to get along with untill someone makes me angry. i love to spend time with my family and friends. i love to go to the beach and being in the sun. i like to watch movies and go shopping. (but what woman doesn't like to shop)

in july of 2005 i lost my nephew to a tragic accident. he drowned while spending a hot day at a local natural made swimming hole (in maine) with my sister, and nieces. and when he was on his way back to the other side where my sister was he got stuck in the middle. and then soon realized that he could not make it back to the bank where everyone was. he then started to call for help and started to thrash around franticly. when my sister and my nieces saw him doing this they all thought that he was just joking around like always(he was a very joking kind of guy,very funny) so they didn't think anything about it.but when he started doing it even more and thrashing even harder that is when my sister was alerted and started to panick. she then decided to swim in to see if she could help him but when she got to him he was so frantic that he just started to grab her and he was trying to pull her down with him. so she had to let go and call for my oldest niece to come in and help her out. well then the people on the banks around them started to get worried and some of the decided to go and help them and others called 911. well i guess he finally went down and my sister went back to shore and called my mom (that was back at my oldest sisters house) and the ambulance finally arrived (he had been down for about 15mins) and they had the dive team go down and look for him. they pulled him out and they started cpr and by then my brother in law had arrived and said that he would follow the ambulance to the hospital. so my sister,my mom and my twin sister all went to the hospital as well after my other nieces were dropped back off with neighbors. when my nephew got to the hospital they had him on life support and the doctors had told my sisters,mom and brother in law that if they were to keep him on life support he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life so my sister and brother in law decided to take him off,and let him go. because my twin sister was there when it happend she had to identify my nephew's body (i think that was the hardest thing she has ever done in her life) and because he was an organ doner all of his organs were donated to people.

i miss him more and more everyday and i hope and pray to god that he will bring him back to me and my family, but i know that will never happen. there has been so many times since he passed away where i have felt like he is here with me. like in the corner of a room where i am watching over me. but i don't know what to think of that. my nephew was my best friend. he always made me laugh and he was always there for me. if he was still here today he would be turning 23 this year. he was born july 23,1986 and he passed away on july 3,2005. i really hope he is watching over me and my family. but i guess that is all that i can do is hope.

well i guess that is all for now.

-jessica-