recent happenings

I know that it has been a very long time since i last blogged i have been trying to get some things figured out in my life and right now they are not looking so great but i guess that's how things work, i know that god only gives us what he thinks that we can handle but come on this is a bit much. i feel like i am always tredding water and bearly keeping my head above water.

I have recently started seeing this guy that i have known my whole life, we met when i was 8yrs old at church and we recently got back intouch with eachother. it feels great to have him back in my life, we have just picked up where we had left off in the begining, he makes me feel amazing and truly loved and wanted all the time, and he is the sweetest towards my son. which is great that i have found someone that has accepted me and my son with open arms, i know in my heart that we are ment to be together and so right now we are just taking things slow, which is fine by me.

hayden is now going through this stage where he says "ok fine" to everything!!!! and when i call him to come and do something he says "ok coming!!!!" and he yells it down the hallway or from where ever he is in the house. he has just turned into the biggest ham ever, and i thank god everyday for what he has given me. i know that things may be hard right now because of everything that is going on in my life but when that little boy smiles at me or gives me a hug or a kiss it seems like everything will be alright. there is nothing more satisfying than to have your child give you a hug or a kiss out of the blue and just for the hell of it!!! i am truly the luckiest girl right now, i have two amazing men in my life and i thank god everyday for the gifts that he has given me in my life.

i know that god has great things planned for me but sometimes i am just so impaitent to when the good things will start coming my way, i know i have been told that all good things come in due time, but i think that right now is my due time. i have been put through so much shit in my lifetime that i just wish things would just work out perfect for me. but i know in the long run that the goals that i have for myself are not going to be easy getting to so i know that i have a long way up this very steep hill to go before i get to where i want to be. but i know that i have the strength and ability to do it and i have great friends and family to stand behind and next to me while i try to accomplish my goals. thank you to everyone that i have in my life without you i wouldn't be who i am today!!!!! i love you all!!!!

my god be with you and god bless,
jessica